Everything hurt.

She could see everything but it felt like her vision was cloudy, fuzzy, gone. His teeth pulled, tore, snapped to get a better grip.

Eirin had never had a time she feared death - not when she went unconscious as a child, not when she woke up to a half-remembered creature, not when she learned the not-crows chose to speak to her. Not even when she faced the Skull, that beastly creature that she had pressured Ceres to summon. She’d always known it would be alright, that she could save herself and, if she couldn’t, that someone would come and save her.

That Elayne would be there to save her.

She thought he was there now, too, but he was too far away, a hand’s breadth, a hare's breadth, an impossibility of time and space.

She was sad it would end this way, without exploring why she trusted him so much, wanted him so much, craved the attention he was only too willing to give. Even now, though - even now she pulled away from it, the mental pain searing as the hot blood dripped over her cotton candy chest.

Distantly she heard the world around her - a scream that didn’t quite feel like her own, the thunder of bodies moving, the cry of one denied their very heart. The pressure lessened, the pain bloomed, and she welcomed the whiteness of oblivion.

~~~

She didn’t know how long she had been gone, but she wouldn’t have been surprised to have been told she had died. The whole world looked fuzzy, her vision murky along the edges. She was back in her room, back in her bed, morning sunlight streaming through the windows. A now-familiar body was standing in front of her, facing away, the voice higher than she had noticed it recently, the muscles less defined. Another voice, almost as familiar as her own, growled with frustration, and she saw Elayne’s body rock as though pushed. 

“We talked about this. You’re not allowed to just sit and watch her all night. That’s more than a little creepy. Mother has only just allowed you to even visit occasionally after you broke in here last year, and the year before, and before that. It’s your fault she’s like this - praying at her bedside or whatever you’re doing isn’t going to gain your forgiveness. Leave her alone, and let us grieve in peace.”

“You’ve been grieving since you were a child, Diarin. She’s not dead, just sleeping - how long until you let yourself live again?”

“You do not get to use my name!” The shriek surprised a gasp from Eirin, who suddenly had two pairs of eyes looking at her in what could be hope, or horror. 

“You’re awake.”

~~~

“Now would be a good time to wake up, Eirin,” Elayne murmured softly, his voice scraping over the gravel he’d swallowed as a scream. “I wish I could carry you, like we’ve seen the spirits do, but I have no arms to hold you close. And Ceres’ magic… I don’t trust it.”

“You don’t have to trust me,” the flippant voice called back over a dark shoulder. “Just let me do the work. There’s a pedestal here - I think we can leave if we can find a way through.”

Crenia gave the magician a doubtful look, eyes nearly crossed. “A way? Like that dustless path? The room feels odd, too full of magic, but that way looks clear.”

They were never going to see the grasping hands, not until it was too late, not until there was nothing to be done.